Forced Favours

So, It is still having a butt-ache. But I told her to endure and not show the ache on her face and in her actions.
......................................................................

Back to what I wanted to say. You know, most of the times, I really don't like it when people are nice to me. I mean, it feels nice and all, BUT, I'm someone who will naturally feel it as a favour and so, I must return it. It's quite irritating, because I will keep feeling that I owe that someone something and it's a nagging feeling. Worst part is, even if the feeling doesn't nag, people around me will nag. Say, my Mum.

This morning, she was either having PMS, or her menopause's just round the corner (Do you even use 'just round the corner' to describe menopause? Nvm.), or she was just in need of some chocolates but depriving herself and therefore feeling like crap. ANYWAY, you get the idea lah huh?

Yup, so she was telling us (me and Hanxu) in a louder-than-comfortable volume how our clothes are piling up and nobody's bothered to go and iron them. Believe me, I don't really want to complain about MY Mum, but.. OK, let's just say she was screaming a little. *fed up*
Then, she brought up the part about how Grandma had been helping us iron our clothes the past 2 weeks because my Mum told her we were going to have our exams and how sweet it is of her to do that and how we should really start ironing our clothes ourselves because it's not nice to take advantage of Grandma's love for us and how.. AHHHH! You all know lah, when adults start to nag (which is really an understatement in this scenario), it never ever ever ends.

If you think I'm upset by my Mum's uproar, you are SO WRONG. Firstly, I'm not that shallow. Secondly, as usual, I am steady so I can tahan. Thirdly, having been in this family for 21 years, if I haven't gotten used to my mother's blahblahblah-ing by now, I would have gone crazy somewhere along the way.

Yup, I was actually more bothered about the way Mum made us sound like we made Grandma do the ironing for us, and, since she's done it, we owe her, like it or not.

It's either this, or, we were deviously using the exams as an excuse to make people, like Grandma, do things for us (Like, hooray! Exams here, burn yourselves as human sacrifice so that we'll do well in the exams!).

Of course we had to choose the former right? So I'm exaggerating for the second choice. But I'm exaggerating because Mum said something like, "不是考试就什么都不用做的 leh! 你们不可以整天让外婆帮你们烫衣 leh!"

Wah lao, what did we say?! *pulls hair*

Ma, 够了 hor! *fumes*

Still, it's really super irritating when you are forced to feel guilty for something you did not request for, but it was still given to you. Be damned if you haven't been able to return it, or worse, if you haven't been thanking the person profusely, verbally.

Because horrrr..... in the adult world ah...... you just have to pili-pala it out. NO, YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO FEEL GRATITUDE IN YOUR HEART ONLY. WE NEED TO SEE AND HEAR IT.

The thing about being forced to feel the responsibility of accepting the favour. When Mum said whatever she said about Grandma doing the ironing for us, (Uh oh! Guai guai Hanxiang went on leave.) I raised my voice too. Because I just dislike it (MAX) when people suddenly heap some burden which I don't even recognise on me. Please lor, Grandma did it because she wanted to do it, and it was Mum who told her we were having exams, not us. What could we have done? Stop her by throwing the iron set out the window? That would have killed whoever walked past can? Ok, I deliberately went out of point.

Have you experienced rubbish like this before? Like, someone buys you a house (I'm using a house to show how pressuring it is) just because someone felt like being nice. No, you didn't ask for it. What do you do?

Like this?
"Thanks for the house! I love the colour! How did you know?"
And the following times you see the person again, you treat him/her like you would to anyone else.

Ok, maybe I should try this.
"外婆, 谢谢 leh! 我们考试真的考到要死了, 你继续帮我们烫衣服 hor!"
"对了, 我没有空, 你可以帮我下去楼下买午餐吗? 谢谢!"
"如果可以的话, 顺便帮我跟狗狗冲凉!"
*grins like an ass*

YAY! If only I can bring myself to do that. But trouble is, I CAN'T. I'll even feel like slapping whoever dares to do the above.

I remember the period of time after Grandpa passed away, I went to stay with Grandma for a while. If she did something very sweet that day, like, tell me how Grandpa and her were matchmade, DIE.. I would just start having the urge to go buy her a floss bread from Breadtalk right there and then because that's her favourite. For my Grandma, it's not really like what I said in some earlier paragraph, doing for people to see and hear. For some people like Grandma, it's a natural response. Anyway, lucky there's a Breaktalk near her place.

You get it now? I'm someone whom you should not be good to, because I will freak out and be stressed out by the pressure. Don't come and anyhow do something nice, because it's not nice to reject it and so I'll have to force myself to accept it. THEN I will feel the need to be nice to you also, and sometimes, being nice to people is not easy, especially people you care about. Because for people you care about, it takes more to be nice to them. Cannot cin cin cai cai ok.

Anyway, Mum just very lovingly brought me a bowl of tonic soup. So I decided to forget about what got into her this morning and still love her alot alot.