My.. Sad.. Life..
Picture this, Hanxiang, dressed in a long white dress with long puffy sleeves and a silky, flowy bottom, striding through a large grass patch.. she is walking against the wind, which is blowing at her face and long, dark hair.. Somewhere in the background, a big white bird is soaring in the sky, lingering at times in mid-air and taking off again when the wind is strong enough.. In the distance, the crimson sun is setting, taking with it the last bits of daylight.. The girl is shedding tears of sorrow and regret and there's no more time.. She's trying her best, but it all just seems too far away.. And at this very moment..
PIAK!
Paiseh, clumsy lah.. Hanxiang just tripped on a pebble and fell, face down.. OooOohh.. Ouch..
Alamak, why does it always have to end this way when it's ME trying my very best to be a gentle and submissive girl who's in need of someone to help share her woes? OI! I DO NOT always behave like a madwoman.. I can be depressed also ok, don't laugh lah! Anyway, in the beginning of the simulated scenario above, everything was going fine and nice ok.. Yeah man, I, have hidden talent, alright? Hur~ ;)
This entry is inspired by something that Hanxu said about my blog and yesterday's volleyball session and more than anything, my (believe it or not) sad life..
Ok, Hanxu was saying that majority of people's blogs are about their daily lives and quite often, the entries are sad ones.. She added that mine is not.. Look, I'm not exactly unhappy that my blog is a happy one, but Hanxiang prefers to be versatile, flexible and complex, therefore, it's important that I have all kinds of entries to suit different tastes.. ok?
Then, about yesterday's volleyball session..
Me and Hanxu were playing with each other and we decided to be really friendly by asking if this guy (Call him Alex. Because he looks quite like Alex To.), who's playing against the wall, if he wanted to join us.. So, we were playing playing and for a few times, we spiked lousy and he had to pick the ball which rolled far far away.. Being very friendly again, I decided to help him pick the ball.. So we sort of raced to get the ball.. Hmm, maybe I was also at fault, because I was going like, "Haha, see who's faster!" And we ended up crapping as we played.. And somehow, the relationship became something like that between me and Randy(Pri Sch), me and Anthony(Pri Sch), me and Zhipeng(Sec Sch).. If you are a close friend, you would have, by now, understood what I'm trying to say.. put simply, me and Alex ended up ready to FIGHT each other, giving each other dagger eyes across the net, laughing at each other's stupid mistakes on court when we were playing a match.. Ya lah, that kind of rubbish..
I suddenly thought, "Why is it always this kind of fight-fight-relationships between me and guys huh?" Ok, for better understanding, let's look at my timeline from Pri Sch to University..
Bukit Panjang Primary School -
Randy the Terrorist
Actually I do not really recall being arch enemies with Randy until my primary school friends told me that me and Randy were really always fighting in class.. I think we enjoyed whacking each other and retaliating when that happens.. Maybe lessons were really boring? Randy, like all the other boys in primary school loved to call me tomboy, and I always chased them around the school to hit them whenever that happened, just for the fun of it, because I did not really mind being called a tomboy.. I was really a tomboy, DUH? Another thing that I always did was compete with the guys to see who can glare at each other for a longer time without laughing or blinking his/her eyes.. I always stood up for the girls when they were bullied also.. I even went into the boys' toilet before to help get a friend's bag for her because some idiotic boy planted it there just to upset her.. Totally barbaric..
Anthony the Childish Irritating Ass
Anthony was also a friend from primary school, so he did similar stuff as all the other guys.. THE THING IS, up till this day, he's still not relenting.. Whenever we see each other, he'll still hit my head, act like he wants to slap me and deliberately walking just beside me and doing other things like that just to irritate me.. Sometimes I just feel I should buy him a bag of baby diapers the next time we go out in case he's having short supply.. I sincerely hope he knows how to get them on himself, I really do.. Nowadays I try not to retaliate, because I'm already 21, remember? Can you imagine what would happen if people outside see us fighting with each other? I won't mind if they think I'm Anthony's mother you know.. At least that would be better than them knowing that we're actually of the same age and acting like we're both 20 years younger than our actual age..
Bukit Panjang Govt. High School -
Zhipeng the Monkey
He's always making sarcastic remarks at me, such as, "Eh! I see your face already I just cannot set the ball for you leh.. Hahahahaa.." Not funny, thank you HOR! He was the volleyball boys' team setter and sometimes we would just play together.. I'm a spiker, so sometimes I would ask him to help me set so that I can spike.. Seriously, if there were other choices, do you think I would still seek his help? But something to take note of is, whenever it's me trying to spike, his setting will really be off.. Once I move off to let my team-mate spike, his setting will return again.. WTH?!
Pioneer Junior College -
I was spared this kind of violence and need for violence in junior college, simply because I decided to hide my true self and be a strict volleyball captain with a straight face.. Nobody knew who I really was and friends and relatives claimed that I became depressed when I was in junior college.. Oh please.. Was my madness so over that when I smile and crack lame jokes less often, I became depressed? I was only behaving like a normal person can? Ok, maybe I'm really, usually, too hyper.. ¬_¬ *sighs* But hey, at least I had a peaceful college life.. And I could concentrate on volleyball.. I won't expect my team-mates to listen to what I say if half the time I'm playing catching with the boys.. So in a way, it was right for me to choose to be depressed in college..
Nanyang Technological University -
The old Hanxiang is Back.In.Action.. Hurray! Hmm.. Actually I was initially, successfully acting quiet and girly.. And I'm proud to be one of the few loners in a school where everyone is so hyped up about being sociable and friendly and having many many many friends.. *yawn* LEAVE ME ALONE, thanks huh.. I'm no longer depressed, I just don't feel like investing time in building friendships that would not last, displaying smiles that are just for show (sometimes I'll wonder if I can get a lips image sticker that I can just slap onto my face when I see someone I know.. Anyone got lobang? Preferably sexy ones, easier for me to get favours from perverted guys.. -._.^) and doing things always with intentions.. Do you still remember the school days when we would help our friends just like that? No strings attached? Frankly, I can only recall those parts when I get together with my old friends once in a while..
And what happened yesterday made everything come tumbling back again.. I don't know why, I was just feeling high.. And so, I was being my usual self.. Everyone was sitting around and relaxing while waiting for volleyballs to play with and I was happily doing P.T.(Physical training), jumping around the net, being crappy and cheering alot and hopping around when we were playing games.. Basically being over-enthusiastic.. Fine, I was being a siao ginna, if that makes you happy.. (But yesterday, I was really happy! I felt like a volleyball player again..)
Then there was Alex, who reminded me that between me and every male human, it's always WAR and WAR and WARS.. Can somebody tell me why they always like to make trouble for me? For your information, all those asses mentioned are just the more serious cases.. I have many more of them.. Anyway, I've got a very strong sense of foreboding that I am coming back, as in, 100%.. Oh no, that would mean more battling and bloodshed..
Boys! *throws arms up to the air*
Now, do you understand how sad my life is? Ok, I admit I sort of lost focus at some places along the way.. Sorry lah, too excited and got carried away, but don't worry, we always have the "IN CONCLUSION" ending to save the day.. Remember GP?
Therefore, IN CONCLUSION, my life is sad because, firstly, I can never click in the right way with guys and secondly, I am always perceived as a jumpy, random and energetic girl who will never ever have the chance to star in boohoo-korean-shows because that's just not my style, which is definitely not true (really! *serious*)..
Wow, I'm good.. No wonder I got a B3 for GP! In fact, I think the marker must have been too strict.. How could it have been only a B3?
PIAK!
Paiseh, clumsy lah.. Hanxiang just tripped on a pebble and fell, face down.. OooOohh.. Ouch..
Alamak, why does it always have to end this way when it's ME trying my very best to be a gentle and submissive girl who's in need of someone to help share her woes? OI! I DO NOT always behave like a madwoman.. I can be depressed also ok, don't laugh lah! Anyway, in the beginning of the simulated scenario above, everything was going fine and nice ok.. Yeah man, I, have hidden talent, alright? Hur~ ;)
This entry is inspired by something that Hanxu said about my blog and yesterday's volleyball session and more than anything, my (believe it or not) sad life..
Ok, Hanxu was saying that majority of people's blogs are about their daily lives and quite often, the entries are sad ones.. She added that mine is not.. Look, I'm not exactly unhappy that my blog is a happy one, but Hanxiang prefers to be versatile, flexible and complex, therefore, it's important that I have all kinds of entries to suit different tastes.. ok?
Then, about yesterday's volleyball session..
Me and Hanxu were playing with each other and we decided to be really friendly by asking if this guy (Call him Alex. Because he looks quite like Alex To.), who's playing against the wall, if he wanted to join us.. So, we were playing playing and for a few times, we spiked lousy and he had to pick the ball which rolled far far away.. Being very friendly again, I decided to help him pick the ball.. So we sort of raced to get the ball.. Hmm, maybe I was also at fault, because I was going like, "Haha, see who's faster!" And we ended up crapping as we played.. And somehow, the relationship became something like that between me and Randy(Pri Sch), me and Anthony(Pri Sch), me and Zhipeng(Sec Sch).. If you are a close friend, you would have, by now, understood what I'm trying to say.. put simply, me and Alex ended up ready to FIGHT each other, giving each other dagger eyes across the net, laughing at each other's stupid mistakes on court when we were playing a match.. Ya lah, that kind of rubbish..
I suddenly thought, "Why is it always this kind of fight-fight-relationships between me and guys huh?" Ok, for better understanding, let's look at my timeline from Pri Sch to University..
Bukit Panjang Primary School -
Randy the Terrorist
Actually I do not really recall being arch enemies with Randy until my primary school friends told me that me and Randy were really always fighting in class.. I think we enjoyed whacking each other and retaliating when that happens.. Maybe lessons were really boring? Randy, like all the other boys in primary school loved to call me tomboy, and I always chased them around the school to hit them whenever that happened, just for the fun of it, because I did not really mind being called a tomboy.. I was really a tomboy, DUH? Another thing that I always did was compete with the guys to see who can glare at each other for a longer time without laughing or blinking his/her eyes.. I always stood up for the girls when they were bullied also.. I even went into the boys' toilet before to help get a friend's bag for her because some idiotic boy planted it there just to upset her.. Totally barbaric..
Anthony the Childish Irritating Ass
Anthony was also a friend from primary school, so he did similar stuff as all the other guys.. THE THING IS, up till this day, he's still not relenting.. Whenever we see each other, he'll still hit my head, act like he wants to slap me and deliberately walking just beside me and doing other things like that just to irritate me.. Sometimes I just feel I should buy him a bag of baby diapers the next time we go out in case he's having short supply.. I sincerely hope he knows how to get them on himself, I really do.. Nowadays I try not to retaliate, because I'm already 21, remember? Can you imagine what would happen if people outside see us fighting with each other? I won't mind if they think I'm Anthony's mother you know.. At least that would be better than them knowing that we're actually of the same age and acting like we're both 20 years younger than our actual age..
Bukit Panjang Govt. High School -
Zhipeng the Monkey
He's always making sarcastic remarks at me, such as, "Eh! I see your face already I just cannot set the ball for you leh.. Hahahahaa.." Not funny, thank you HOR! He was the volleyball boys' team setter and sometimes we would just play together.. I'm a spiker, so sometimes I would ask him to help me set so that I can spike.. Seriously, if there were other choices, do you think I would still seek his help? But something to take note of is, whenever it's me trying to spike, his setting will really be off.. Once I move off to let my team-mate spike, his setting will return again.. WTH?!
Pioneer Junior College -
I was spared this kind of violence and need for violence in junior college, simply because I decided to hide my true self and be a strict volleyball captain with a straight face.. Nobody knew who I really was and friends and relatives claimed that I became depressed when I was in junior college.. Oh please.. Was my madness so over that when I smile and crack lame jokes less often, I became depressed? I was only behaving like a normal person can? Ok, maybe I'm really, usually, too hyper.. ¬_¬ *sighs* But hey, at least I had a peaceful college life.. And I could concentrate on volleyball.. I won't expect my team-mates to listen to what I say if half the time I'm playing catching with the boys.. So in a way, it was right for me to choose to be depressed in college..
Nanyang Technological University -
The old Hanxiang is Back.In.Action.. Hurray! Hmm.. Actually I was initially, successfully acting quiet and girly.. And I'm proud to be one of the few loners in a school where everyone is so hyped up about being sociable and friendly and having many many many friends.. *yawn* LEAVE ME ALONE, thanks huh.. I'm no longer depressed, I just don't feel like investing time in building friendships that would not last, displaying smiles that are just for show (sometimes I'll wonder if I can get a lips image sticker that I can just slap onto my face when I see someone I know.. Anyone got lobang? Preferably sexy ones, easier for me to get favours from perverted guys.. -._.^) and doing things always with intentions.. Do you still remember the school days when we would help our friends just like that? No strings attached? Frankly, I can only recall those parts when I get together with my old friends once in a while..
And what happened yesterday made everything come tumbling back again.. I don't know why, I was just feeling high.. And so, I was being my usual self.. Everyone was sitting around and relaxing while waiting for volleyballs to play with and I was happily doing P.T.(Physical training), jumping around the net, being crappy and cheering alot and hopping around when we were playing games.. Basically being over-enthusiastic.. Fine, I was being a siao ginna, if that makes you happy.. (But yesterday, I was really happy! I felt like a volleyball player again..)
Then there was Alex, who reminded me that between me and every male human, it's always WAR and WAR and WARS.. Can somebody tell me why they always like to make trouble for me? For your information, all those asses mentioned are just the more serious cases.. I have many more of them.. Anyway, I've got a very strong sense of foreboding that I am coming back, as in, 100%.. Oh no, that would mean more battling and bloodshed..
Boys! *throws arms up to the air*
Now, do you understand how sad my life is? Ok, I admit I sort of lost focus at some places along the way.. Sorry lah, too excited and got carried away, but don't worry, we always have the "IN CONCLUSION" ending to save the day.. Remember GP?
Therefore, IN CONCLUSION, my life is sad because, firstly, I can never click in the right way with guys and secondly, I am always perceived as a jumpy, random and energetic girl who will never ever have the chance to star in boohoo-korean-shows because that's just not my style, which is definitely not true (really! *serious*)..
Wow, I'm good.. No wonder I got a B3 for GP! In fact, I think the marker must have been too strict.. How could it have been only a B3?
posted by hanxiang at 8:47 AM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home