Juicy Details!

'Early bird catches the wormy.'
I'm not trying to act cute here by saying 'wormy' instead of just 'worm'.. Just quoting an act-cute friend alright? Sometimes I wonder why I have so many weird people around me.. I feel like they are laying ambushes everywhere, suddenly deciding to act cute, act sexy, act dumb, act like animals.. I don't know what else, I'm numb already.. So EVERYONE, just let your kok kok beh come ok? I'm SO fully prepared..

Ok, let me just describe some examples..

Juefun The Future Porn Star
Juefun gets possessed by hollywood stars sometimes (female ones, for your information).. Ok, let's just say ALL THE TIME, as long as he's in a good mood.. I remember once when he showed me his tummy, apparently trying to compete with me to see who's got a bigger and flabbier one.. I was like, "OF COURSE I WIN LAH!" But he wasn't convinced, so he tried to exaggerate things by hunching his back and pulling his singlet collar down to reveal his boobs and stomach, the objective being, to show more flesh.. His singlet is very stretchable you see.. And he ended up looking abit like the picture above.

Just that his attire is even more low cut and his expression more like a 母猪 trying to send electricity to a 公猪.. And coincidentally, he's borned in the year of the PIG.. *wolf whistles* Aren't pigs just, like, OOH-SEXY? Totally hot! Like, TOTALLY! ^@@^ *slurps*

Before you start drooling, allow me to let you in on other interesting stuff.. Juefun, MY brother, can actually dance like J.Lo.. Uh huh, I mean THAT ONE from Hollywood.. Sometimes he comes up with even more sizzling moves than the girl! So we often get live performances at home.. How cool is that, you tell me?

At times he just gets so professional and engrossed in his works that he goes naked (top-half only, stop panting), but we always advise him that it's much more alluring to wear a little and let the imagination wonder, than to expose fully.. THAT, is strategy.. If he really wants to expose, at least use some Pokemon cards to cover his two dots right? *sighs* Sometimes kids don't understand, but trust me, he really has potential to become a brilliant porn star..

After hearing all that, please don't misunderstand.. He's still a perfect boy at heart, as can be seen from the way he imitates 蜡笔小新 (Crayon Shinchan).. But believe me, like me, you would prefer J.Lo. because than crayon boy simply gets on people's nerves.. You would know if you've seen the Japanese cartoon before.. He teaches kids all the wrong things and really deserves to be stuffed down the toilet bowl, head first..

Father The Government
I've covered 'act sexy' and 'act cute' right? Next up, 'act dumb'..
Let's talk about my father..

My Papa talks in this way:
"Eh.. 你的那个和那个在那里hor!"

OK, CAN I ASK 3 QUESTIONS?
1) What is 那个?
2) What is the second 那个?
3) And for god's sake, where is 那里?

And can you believe, if I really asked him those questions, he would go, "自己找啦! 懒惰!" And he dares to sound fed up ok.. *faints* But it's ok, I can tahan.. I'm steady, remember?

Life Goes On..
Left with 'act like animals', but I just don't feel like writing on.. I feel more like crying.. I'm so pitiful I think if I had a bowl in front of me now, people would throw notes inside so that I can buy medicine to prevent myself from becoming mentally unstable.. Seriously, it's hard to maintain sanity in this environment I'm living in..

For your information, at this very moment, Juefun has his pyjamas hung around his neck like a shawl and singing Mariah by Ricky Martin.. And I think he's starting to shake his perky butt already.. Papa is asking the Hanyu Pinyin of the same word for, like, the third time or something..

Oh yes.. Actually this entry is abit R21, if you realised.. Really hope YOU are 21 already, if not.. Never mind lah, it's ok to learn about the evils of the world a little sooner..