Wet Market
Went with my parents and Hanxu to Teck Whye for breakfast today. After that went to gai gai with Mummy at the wet market.
Hanxu: Actually going to the wet market is quite like clubbing.
-Club noisy, market also noisy, just different kinds of music.
-Club stinks with cigarette smoke, market stinks too, just different smells.
-People in the club mo lai mo qu, people in the market also mo lai mo qu, just with different intentions.
Hanxu: Eh, wait, but people in the club drink. Wet market people drink what?
Me: *points to nearby bucket of melted ice used to hold fish* There, drink this one. Faster effect than alcohol if you want to concuss.
Who thinks my sister's points are pointless please breathe!
*holds my breath for as long as I can*
Gotta breathe, but besides that, I think what Hanxu said was quite true.
Explanation for the music part
Look, the stall holders in the market don't anyhow anyhow shout one, alright? Ok, let's just call it advertising their wares instead of shouting. They advertise with rhythm can?
"Ji kor ji kor ji kor lai!" 4 beats right? (Paiseh ah, pls tell me if it's wrong. I lost touch with my piano some time ago. Miss my piano. *sighs*)
"Let me hear you say, I like that!" Also 4 beats. (I Like That (Stop) by Jae Millz, Take The Lead soundtrack.)
Explanation for the stinky part
WHAT?! You need explanation even for this? You mean you haven't gone to the wet market before?! Forgiven if you're not Singaporean, if not, PLEASE, commit suicide.
Cigarette smoke and fish(smell that dominates). If you had to choose, which one would it be?
Of course cigarette smoke lah!
TO HATE!
So sorry, cigarette smoke is like my worst nemesis. Sorry smokers. I'll still love you lah, just don't smoke in front of Hanxiang.
Explanation for the mo lai mo qu part
Mo with different intentions of course. ASSUMING what intentions I think the chiongsters have is right. Assuming only! Chill ok? *smirks*
What was I supposed to think the aunties were thinking when they brushed past me mann?! AUNTIES ARE STRAIGHT can? They've got husbands! But if it were aunties brushing past uncles, then I'm not sure.
Ok, sorry, that was damn out of point.
Because.. Aunties at the market can't be bothered by anything else other than
inspecting fish gills to see if they're fresh enough,
pinching their flesh to see if it bounces back, shaking those poor prawns with double their normal strength to double confirm that their heads won't fall off (cause if fall off that means they're not fresh already),
poking poultry and making sure they're from the kampong (if not cannot tahan when cooking curry),
requesting SO MANY times for the butcher to chop the ribs into small-enough pieces because he always does it sub-standard.
Right? Asking those who have actually visited the wet market before.
NO, not exactly at least.
Because I left out what they do to the vegetables. You didn't realise hor? Not paying attention! *hammers head* And the bargaining! Oh no, I don't even want to go into that.
Sometimes I just start feeling for the foodstuff at the wet market. Oh mann.. can the aunties just, like, leave those poor things alone?! They're already dead, as in really KONG-KA-KIAO DEAD. Why do they still have to torture their corpses like this? HAIYO.. saddening.
I tell you, every visit to the wet market requires a post-visit mourning session. Damn agonising.
But afterall, the wet market is an interesting place lah. It's somewhere you can
-pick up (no, not hot babes and hunks) chim hokkien lines from people you don't know but feel so close to because of their warm attitudes,
-observe aunties (and sometimes uncles) bargain and be proud of themselves later because that's what they're REALLY good at.
"Wah lao, wa ga Ah Gong buei eh ba jia pi leh! Yi hor wa discount! HUH! Bo hor li ah? Aiya, li bo wa sway kuan lah! Hehe!"
Translates to: The pork I bought from Ah Gong very cheap leh! He gave me a discount. HUH! Never give you ah? Aiya, you're not.. (I don't know how to translate sway kuan. Persistent can?) enough.
-still get to see people drinking coffee from condensed milk tins, which is like.. SO RETRO!!! I like. But those are exclusively for the stall holders only. You want that also? Wait long long ok? They don't have so many gu ni gong (milk tins) to distribute.
If you've time to spare, go gai gai at a wet market too. Really, a supermarket just pales in comparison. Yup, smell included.
As a final note, Singaporean guys are still quite conservative lah. I tried this a few times in friendster already. Status single. Status married. Different months. The number of people who viewed my profile differed by a few hundred percent. Single status more viewers of course. Not bad right, our guys? At least they know that married women should be left alone.
Ok,
*gone*
Hanxu: Actually going to the wet market is quite like clubbing.
-Club noisy, market also noisy, just different kinds of music.
-Club stinks with cigarette smoke, market stinks too, just different smells.
-People in the club mo lai mo qu, people in the market also mo lai mo qu, just with different intentions.
Hanxu: Eh, wait, but people in the club drink. Wet market people drink what?
Me: *points to nearby bucket of melted ice used to hold fish* There, drink this one. Faster effect than alcohol if you want to concuss.
Who thinks my sister's points are pointless please breathe!
*holds my breath for as long as I can*
Gotta breathe, but besides that, I think what Hanxu said was quite true.
Explanation for the music part
Look, the stall holders in the market don't anyhow anyhow shout one, alright? Ok, let's just call it advertising their wares instead of shouting. They advertise with rhythm can?
"Ji kor ji kor ji kor lai!" 4 beats right? (Paiseh ah, pls tell me if it's wrong. I lost touch with my piano some time ago. Miss my piano. *sighs*)
"Let me hear you say, I like that!" Also 4 beats. (I Like That (Stop) by Jae Millz, Take The Lead soundtrack.)
Explanation for the stinky part
WHAT?! You need explanation even for this? You mean you haven't gone to the wet market before?! Forgiven if you're not Singaporean, if not, PLEASE, commit suicide.
Cigarette smoke and fish(smell that dominates). If you had to choose, which one would it be?
Of course cigarette smoke lah!
TO HATE!
So sorry, cigarette smoke is like my worst nemesis. Sorry smokers. I'll still love you lah, just don't smoke in front of Hanxiang.
Explanation for the mo lai mo qu part
Mo with different intentions of course. ASSUMING what intentions I think the chiongsters have is right. Assuming only! Chill ok? *smirks*
What was I supposed to think the aunties were thinking when they brushed past me mann?! AUNTIES ARE STRAIGHT can? They've got husbands! But if it were aunties brushing past uncles, then I'm not sure.
Ok, sorry, that was damn out of point.
Because.. Aunties at the market can't be bothered by anything else other than
inspecting fish gills to see if they're fresh enough,
pinching their flesh to see if it bounces back, shaking those poor prawns with double their normal strength to double confirm that their heads won't fall off (cause if fall off that means they're not fresh already),
poking poultry and making sure they're from the kampong (if not cannot tahan when cooking curry),
requesting SO MANY times for the butcher to chop the ribs into small-enough pieces because he always does it sub-standard.
Right? Asking those who have actually visited the wet market before.
NO, not exactly at least.
Because I left out what they do to the vegetables. You didn't realise hor? Not paying attention! *hammers head* And the bargaining! Oh no, I don't even want to go into that.
Sometimes I just start feeling for the foodstuff at the wet market. Oh mann.. can the aunties just, like, leave those poor things alone?! They're already dead, as in really KONG-KA-KIAO DEAD. Why do they still have to torture their corpses like this? HAIYO.. saddening.
I tell you, every visit to the wet market requires a post-visit mourning session. Damn agonising.
But afterall, the wet market is an interesting place lah. It's somewhere you can
-pick up (no, not hot babes and hunks) chim hokkien lines from people you don't know but feel so close to because of their warm attitudes,
-observe aunties (and sometimes uncles) bargain and be proud of themselves later because that's what they're REALLY good at.
"Wah lao, wa ga Ah Gong buei eh ba jia pi leh! Yi hor wa discount! HUH! Bo hor li ah? Aiya, li bo wa sway kuan lah! Hehe!"
Translates to: The pork I bought from Ah Gong very cheap leh! He gave me a discount. HUH! Never give you ah? Aiya, you're not.. (I don't know how to translate sway kuan. Persistent can?) enough.
-still get to see people drinking coffee from condensed milk tins, which is like.. SO RETRO!!! I like. But those are exclusively for the stall holders only. You want that also? Wait long long ok? They don't have so many gu ni gong (milk tins) to distribute.
If you've time to spare, go gai gai at a wet market too. Really, a supermarket just pales in comparison. Yup, smell included.
As a final note, Singaporean guys are still quite conservative lah. I tried this a few times in friendster already. Status single. Status married. Different months. The number of people who viewed my profile differed by a few hundred percent. Single status more viewers of course. Not bad right, our guys? At least they know that married women should be left alone.
Ok,
*gone*
posted by hanxiang at 4:12 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home