Religion. But relax.

Don't worry. I know this's sensitive, but be assured that I'm going to do it in a very un-religious way. Breathe in breathe out.. And trust me ok?

A bit of digression here to allow you to let your guard down:
You know ah.. I dislike passive smoking. And sometimes, when I'm down on my luck, I will encounter what happened this morning. I entered the lift a little later than this neighbour who lives on the same floor. He held the lift door for me, so I said 'thank you'.

And regretted it the moment we stepped out of the lift.

My habit is this. I will exit the lift the last. So the neighbour would have been walking in front of me, right? Yup. The thing is this, he was SO FAST, not in walking but in lighting his cigarette, that I was overwhelmed by cigarette smoke the moment I turned after getting out of the lift. *PUI*

The worst part:
He walked the route that I always walk. KNS! Uncle, can you take a different route today?! GRR! Did I say it's the only route to the interchange? Erm, ok, then we cannot blame uncle. SO I tried to turn at junctions when he didn't turn. Walked happily for a few seconds before I sniffed overwhelming smoke again. GRR! I started feeling like I'm dying a slow death and it's not even my fault. Can I at least have the right to be responsible for my own death?

Next, I'm overwhelmed by what a rubbish truck leaves behind when it zooms past. GRR!

STOP being angry. I thought, "What can be worse than these?"

Yes, that was the right thought. And it's what I recommend you all to think when you feel lousy. Let the worst be over! I'm even happy that I have a paper in the afternoon, because it can't get any worse than what happened this morning and I'll do well for my paper!!!

Hmm.. Ok, maybe I'm assuming too much but WHATEVER!

- End of digression -

The topic of religion is tacky. And I got to admit that it sometimes just drives people worlds apart. *sighs*

I've always believed in all orthodox gods and have always felt that religions want the best for us and want us to do the best possible.

I'm a buddhist, because I don't believe in one god. And most importantly I feel that Buddhism offers me a set of values and beliefs that I can be convinced of, adhere to and follow. It allows me to lead my life in a better way and to be responsible for myself. It's not even because Buddhism is THE TRUTH. Because I believe there's truth and wisdom in every religion. Currently learning about Christianity from Kelly. And for that, I'm really thankful to her.

I always wonder why every religion is so bent on proving that they are THE ONE. Is it because there is really ONE TRUTH? Or more because, "I have chosen this religion, so it can't be wrong. Because I can't be wrong."

What feeling does the word "belief" give you? For me it's personal and perceived. And I think religions are beliefs.

What if one day, we die, and go somewhere. And we realise that actually, we've all been duped in some way or another by our respective gods, not because he meant to cheat us, but because we interpreted his teachings and well intentions in our own way. The way we want it to be, the way that would suit us better, the way that would make our lives easier.

I always think. Maybe, actually, what is available for us to believe in is actually only one standard version when it was formulated by the god/ accumulated by the gods. But mankind, out of selfishness and the need for individuality tore it apart and made different versions out of them. That would be quite sad. Because if that did not happen, everyone would be in one world sharing the same joy of learning instead of being in different worlds trying to figure out the differences when the differences are supposed to be non-existent. Am I thinking too much?

ANYWAY, choosing a religion means taking a stand. We always have to take a stand and make decisions, don't we? Neutrality is not good, most of the times. In this case, it makes us empty and directionless. Whatever religion you are, I respect that decision because you decided for yourself.

Having a religion in life also means having an anchor to, many times, just maintain sanity. You're thinking, "Hanxiang! You just shot yourself in the foot because YOU'RE A BUDDHIST BUT YOU'RE NUTS!"

Hush, and pay attention ok? *adjusts lenseless spectacles*

What I mean is, religions allow us to find answers when we have doubts. So that we'll not tear ourselves apart trying to figure out what's what.

And I think a religion gives us a sense of identity. It's an important part of us that we cannot dispense of.

Many times, I don't put too much effort in trying to prove what's true and what's not. Let's just assume there's reincarnation. (Sorry for being a little religious here although I promised to talk about this in an un-religious way.) If you're really that eager to get the truth, fret not. When you're reborned, you'll find yourself being embroiled in the same fluster of truth-seeking again. Your chances will never end.

What's more, the truth can sometimes be scary. What do you really expect to experience after death? Not being suicidal here. Just encouraging some thinking ok? Please don't be driven nuts, that's totally not my intention.

But I really think that truth will come to us one day, whenever that will be. When things are supposed to happen, they will happen.

Like, when people want to to unveil their anonymity to you, they will, when they think it's time. No use for me pestering them to tell me who they are.

Hmm.. Did I mention somewhere that I'll be having a paper this afternoon? THEN WHAT AM I DOING HERE?!

As usual, seeking closure so that I'll absorb better what I'm going to study later. It's all for a good purpose ok. :)

Anyway all these are my personal random thoughts. No offence please and comment if you want.

*gone*