Struggling to stay the same.
Sometimes I really feel I shouldn't have been born in this time this place.
I often feel I'm at odds with the world. I'm not angry with the world. Maybe I'm angrier with myself, my mindset, my personality.
Why's it so hard to be flexible and adaptable? Yeah, because when you're flexible, things become complicated.
Or not. Because if you're flexible just like that, everything happens naturally, requiring no reason.
But if you're me, you see the world as complicated and stained and imperfect. Personal principles get in the way of trying to be flexible. I set standards, I demand, I try to find reasons for things that happen, I make life difficult for myself.
For one, why do married people ask you out on a 1-on-1 basis just when they feel like it? Why do they tell you they expect sex on the third date and after that ask you if you consider this your first.
You can say they must have been kidding or that I think too much, but leave me alone for such sick jokes. Things like this are not to be funny about.
I just don't get it. So I portray an image that I'm easy enough and up to such humour? Well, then I'm never going to be kind and smiley anymore.
I want a simple life, but it seems like the world doesn't allow me to do so and at the same time survive.
But does being flexible make life less-hard? Maybe, if it's voluntary. If one day I become flexible, I must have forced myself to do it, and probably you won't ever see the old Hanxiang again.
How can I let down those who care about me in this way?
很多人都说工作会改变一个人。 我开始了解，同时也开始抗拒。是时候开始想想自己真正要的是什么了。我不想走了一大圈，发现自己把时间都浪费在一些自己不喜欢做的事情上。活着就是要开心。看到缺陷，就得赶快弥补。不要让现在缺陷变成长久之后的缺憾。现在弥补缺陷，可能会痛，但长痛不如短痛。
Photos from supplier's dinner last night. Don't be mistaken if you think I enjoyed it. It was basically the worst dinner I've ever attended. But I love the people in the photos so:
Winnie (left) and Christina, both of whom are going to leave.
Bonds, there to form and break.
---------------
看人，要看进心坎里。就像歌曲一样，很多时候我们都会只注意到主打歌，不为什么，就只为它的绚丽，因为主打歌被广泛宣传，所以被人注意。但在同时，最感动的，是凑合在一张专辑里那些不怎么受人瞩目的歌。
我觉得，'蒲公英的约定'，比'不能说的秘密'好听。
你呢？
小学篱笆旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里
一起长大的约定
那样清晰 打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今 唯一坚持的任性
在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去到哪里你都跟很紧
很多的梦在等待着进行
一起长大的约定
那样清晰 打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今 唯一坚持的任性
一起长大的约定
那样珍惜 与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情 还是错过的爱情
What an emo Saturday afternoon. So cramped full of thoughts my skull's going to crack. SOS?
I often feel I'm at odds with the world. I'm not angry with the world. Maybe I'm angrier with myself, my mindset, my personality.
Why's it so hard to be flexible and adaptable? Yeah, because when you're flexible, things become complicated.
Or not. Because if you're flexible just like that, everything happens naturally, requiring no reason.
But if you're me, you see the world as complicated and stained and imperfect. Personal principles get in the way of trying to be flexible. I set standards, I demand, I try to find reasons for things that happen, I make life difficult for myself.
For one, why do married people ask you out on a 1-on-1 basis just when they feel like it? Why do they tell you they expect sex on the third date and after that ask you if you consider this your first.
You can say they must have been kidding or that I think too much, but leave me alone for such sick jokes. Things like this are not to be funny about.
I just don't get it. So I portray an image that I'm easy enough and up to such humour? Well, then I'm never going to be kind and smiley anymore.
I want a simple life, but it seems like the world doesn't allow me to do so and at the same time survive.
But does being flexible make life less-hard? Maybe, if it's voluntary. If one day I become flexible, I must have forced myself to do it, and probably you won't ever see the old Hanxiang again.
How can I let down those who care about me in this way?
很多人都说工作会改变一个人。 我开始了解，同时也开始抗拒。是时候开始想想自己真正要的是什么了。我不想走了一大圈，发现自己把时间都浪费在一些自己不喜欢做的事情上。活着就是要开心。看到缺陷，就得赶快弥补。不要让现在缺陷变成长久之后的缺憾。现在弥补缺陷，可能会痛，但长痛不如短痛。
Photos from supplier's dinner last night. Don't be mistaken if you think I enjoyed it. It was basically the worst dinner I've ever attended. But I love the people in the photos so:
Winnie (left) and Christina, both of whom are going to leave.
Bonds, there to form and break.
---------------
看人，要看进心坎里。就像歌曲一样，很多时候我们都会只注意到主打歌，不为什么，就只为它的绚丽，因为主打歌被广泛宣传，所以被人注意。但在同时，最感动的，是凑合在一张专辑里那些不怎么受人瞩目的歌。
我觉得，'蒲公英的约定'，比'不能说的秘密'好听。
你呢？
小学篱笆旁的蒲公英
是记忆里有味道的风景
午睡操场传来蝉的声音
多少年后也还是很好听
将愿望折纸飞机寄成信
因为我们等不到那流星
认真投决定命运的硬币
却不知道到底能去哪里
一起长大的约定
那样清晰 打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今 唯一坚持的任性
在走廊上罚站打手心
我们却注意窗边的蜻蜓
我去到哪里你都跟很紧
很多的梦在等待着进行
一起长大的约定
那样清晰 打过勾的我相信
说好要一起旅行
是你如今 唯一坚持的任性
一起长大的约定
那样珍惜 与你聊不完的曾经
而我已经分不清
你是友情 还是错过的爱情
What an emo Saturday afternoon. So cramped full of thoughts my skull's going to crack. SOS?
posted by hanxiang at 9:45 AM
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