Happiness. Sappy shit.

Was pondering on something this morning, on why happiness is sometimes so short-lived, and I think I somehow got my answer from all my 胡思乱想.

Buddha says that everything is actually 'non-existent'. From the surface of this, you might find it abstract and unconvincing. But after my Buddhist lessons these days, I guess I've come to understand this concept a little better.

Other than telling us that every single thing is actually nothing, Buddha also provides us with an explanation to it.

Something is non-existent only when it is just-like-that. In other words, non-existence is only the status of things when they are standing alone. Only when we relate something to its surroundings do we get meaning out of what it is, and it is also through this relationship of it with other things that it gets its identity.

It's like, we would not know a boy is a boy when there is no girl there for comparison. The boy would not be an elder brother too, if he doesn't have his younger siblings.

Likewise, we call a chair 'chair' because we sit on it. It has the same four legs and a flat surface as a table but we don't call it a 'table' because there are different uses to a chair and a table.
If you now decide to leave your hot tea on a stool to allow it to cool, it has effectively served you as a table.

So, when you see something individually, it is in fact, nothing.

A slight digression (skippable nonsense): I used to get lost often when I went to shopping centres when I was young. It was never my parents' fault because they were always keeping their eye on me. Just that I would always have this sudden thought of why my Mum is my Mum and not that certain Auntie at the other corner. And I would start to wander off without ever getting my answer until a saleslady discovers me and asks, through the announcement sound system, for my parents to go collect me.
This actually happened at least thrice in my childhood.

Back to my topic, happiness.

Happiness is a feeling. It is something.
We feel it most often when people are nice to us. Ok, maybe you'll feel satisfied too after a good read or whatever, but I'm going to focus on people now.

Let's say at some point in your life, you found a friend whom you share so much in common with. Your interests, your weird theories.. And you got to be good friends. But somehow, the relationship doesn't sustain and one party suddenly decides to opt out, or just slowly fade away from your life.

You were happy, but the mutual commitment to the relationship didn't last, and so you gradually lose that happiness you thought was going to stay.

And you question yourself: What was the big deal about it all? It was actually all so brittle to start with.

No friend = No happiness, at least for that part of your life.

Yup, to me, happiness is a given feeling. Of course when you feel it, you feel it within you, but no doubt it's given. And so it can always be taken away.

No idea why I'm suddenly thinking of such things, but I know what it is I'm thinking. Maybe because it has hit me again, that things in life are always so uncertain, though it has already hit me many times before.

Things change, people change, feelings change.

Oh well, at least I stay the same.

Whoever you are,
If you happen to go another way and after some time, decide that you miss what was, you can always make a detour. I'll still be here. I promise at least I'll try to be still here.

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Alright, disturbing thoughts aside, I played volleyball properly again yesterday evening, instead of like some vampire trying to hide from the sun and looking stupid trying to jump on the sand! (Complaining for fun only lah. Beach volleyball is still volleyball.)

FUNtastic!