Fights

I'm no guru in the field of how the human mind works or how things between humans work,
but I will always remember that time when Pa told me, "All humans are selfish." and I recall not liking the sound of that.

In fact, I resent the fact that Pa planted that idea in my head.

I found myself trying to resist that thought without much result until I met people whom I feel truly care, people who show me that what Pa said is not totally right.
Of course, there are those who further prove my father's point, but they are not worth my attention and definitely not my blog space.

I guess, fundamentally, selfishness occurs when one refuses to see things from another's perspective and insists on guarding his/her own viewpoint/well-being/whatever-you-call-that-thing-that-stops-you-from-taking-a-step-back-and-being-disadvantaged-first.

But you know, being disadvantaged for the moment does not equate to losing. In fact, humans who care about each other should not even think about their arguments between each other to be battles resulting in a winner/loser emerging. There is no right or wrong, just discussion.
To me, fighting is just that, a discussion.

I don't know about you, but to me, fighting is one of the greatest languages of love.

I wouldn't waste my energy telling my parents off for always allowing a certain relative to annoy them if I didn't want them to just enjoy life unaffected by others.
I wouldn't have screamed at Hanxu to get a life and do something about not being a good enough captain instead of whining about it if I didn't want her to make it.
The whole family would not have screamed at Juefun for the past 4 years to prioritise on studying whenever he's gaming if we didn't want him to wake up in time for his Olevels (which he did).
And of course, I would not have been whacked so often in my childhood if my parents didn't want me to become less of a bull in a china shop when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

I wouldn't fight just to win, at least not to my loved ones.
I only fight to make them have things easier in the end.

Because when you fight, you run a risk of being misunderstood for wanting to put the person at the receiving end down/ wanting to win, and therefore the risk of causing the relationship to end.

But what's meant to be will be, and people destined to stick together will stick together, so there's no point in not being truthful to these people.

I only need to be sociable and all smileyface to people in the next level and onwards.

All that said, I know I'm not a tactful person, especially with close ones and that I need to be more patient, to try to be that person who is able to take a step back more often.

I'll try.

Ok bye.