When all I can do is sigh.

Many times I know it, but I am resistant to believing it, because somehow, facing the truth is straining and painful.

Like the reality of the practical and nearly unfeeling working world, where things are measured mostly solely on how beneficial to oneself it is.

When I want to be nice to people, I actually have to think twice whether they will end up being wary of me,

that I'm actually nice to them NOT because I truly want to do so, but because I have a hidden agenda.

Complicated. Super super complicated.

But I guess ultimately, everyone just wants a to bring home a decent salary so that they can support their love ones one way or another. Money is everything, well nearly. It buys happiness, definitely.

Those who still doubt that, PLEASE, time to get your ass out of your fantasy world!

So, I don't blame people for being selfish at work. Because I believe they just want to be generous to their family and friends. Too bad we didn't meet them earlier.

Then again, there are people who are really nice, like those in my team. I want to believe that I have truly nice people to work with. It's tiring to always guard against others.

Many times I'd rather be silly and gullible, if that makes me a happier person.

For now, this is how I feel. If ever I actually get hit, maybe I'll change.

It's good to know that I'll always have my friends and family to go back to.