Maid trauma.

I'm suffering from too-long-no-maid-now-suddenly-hire-one-OMG-我该怎么办? trauma. Partly because my father has been starting to warn us that if we end up jobless after school life, he won't give a damn. We'll just have to go struggle ourselves and not even think of counting on him. Well, you're right, the declaration is directed at me, since I'm the one graduating. Thanks. Very nice of him to issue such threats when I'm already having pre-graduation worries. Not like I want to count on him. PLEASE, I'm still not that cui yet. That bit of pride, I have. I'm actually affected because he's actually right about me in a way. Mummy was telling me Pa thinks I won't be able to get a job after graduation. I was (as usual) rebutting like mad, acting hiong and all, telling her to tell my Pa to not worry, cause I won't sponge on them no matter what. Then I told Mummy I think Pa really hates me. Really, no matter who in the house does something wrong, I'm always the one who gets the dagger eyes and scolding. Sometimes I seriously think my father condemns me. For example: Hanxu screams. Pa: "Xiang ah! 你的声音很尖 leh!" Hanyan screams. Pa: "Xiang ah! 你的声音很尖 leh!" You get the idea. If you still want to console me by saying maybe my sisters sound like me, let me tell you this. I will tio even when it's my brother who screams. And I can tell you, even after my brother undergoes puberty and his voice breaks or cracks or however you describe the change, I will still be the victim. How depressing. But Mummy said Pa is referring to how I'm always so anyhow. Like, always forgetting to switch off the lights after use, hanging the clothes out to dry with such lousy standard etc. Not going to continue telling you about my achievements at home here. Kindly allow me some self-defence. Anyway, Pa is doubtful about who would want to hire someone like me. Ok, so now, how does this link to the maid-related trauma? I guess she's just too near my age, maybe 2 years my senior? But she's already overseas working. And I seriously think maids work hard. And if you're wondering how anyone can be as slow as me to react because maids working in Singapore has been happening since Cinderella's time, it's because now that I'm old enough to think, I really see the difference between us, me and the maid. Suddenly feel I'm super fortunate. I don't know why. I think if I were to tell someone this in the face (apart from my parents), they will think I've gone mad. But I really mean it. Our maid has greatly thrashed my self-esteem. I suddenly feel quite useless. Die. How? And I kept asking Mummy whether she gave our maid time to rest, cause she seems to be doing too much. She said yes, and I responded by asking her if she gave her anything to eat for tea. Because I always get hunger pangs during tea-time. Maybe she will feel hungry too? Most of them think I'm gone. Not really me, but my soul. It's gone. To Woodbridge. Mummy thinks I siu ka zuei. Oh my 天! I think I have to buck up. Must not let my father keep on looking down on me. I know he's actually just motivating me to prove him wrong, but he's really mean sometimes. Can don't lidat? Our maid has been ironing clothes since 2pm if I'm not wrong, and it's now 5pm! I feel like talking a bit to her in case she's feeling bored. Hanxu also said this. But we don't know how to start a conversation with her. Anybody got similar experience? Any advice as to suitable topics to talk about with new maids? Lost. MAX.